YS Blog

THIS YEAR AND LAST YEAR

Architecture = No Sleep?

2nd Year has reached the mid line. Like last year, I am still staying there. Before entering university, I imagine that I can join several activities, can hang out with friends, can take a nap at noon, can sleep at night =_=lll, can really have a holiday, can have good result like entering dean list O_Olll, … …

However, life is always full of challenges, STPM is always not the last challenge I have to pass through, the way is still long ahead, I haven’t reach my destination. Things can/always be unpredictable.

Last year, I entered 2nd college, joined some activities and widen my social network. Walking through the corridor to my room, I’ve at least said hi for 5 times (just like last time in CLHS). I know almost everyone, almost everyone know me. They know I always came back late (should be called “early”) in the morning. I always come back to 5-7am when project days. Came back just to eat and took a bath for around 30minutes. Then, without sleeping I straight away back to work in studio until 11am (now is 10am for 2nd year).

Is architecture a very TOUGH course? No. This is the most interesting course. Most relax and loose. No certain strict rules or formula. However, just TIME CONSUMING. Architecture = No Life. Your life will be spent in Projects, Drawings, Thinking of Idea, Site Visits…

Some from other course may thought that we pretend to be so bz. Some will ask me: Really that busy meh? Have to go back studio at 2am? Maybe they don’t understand us, maybe they will say they are also busy with their work but they still can join projects and activities. However, u cannot use the same ruler to measure Architecture and Other course. Other courses maybe tough, they are busiest when exam day. Architecture? Everyday is equally busy and important. Studio is 100% assignment based and 5 to 6 credit hours. If I get B-, how am I going for my target? (I got B- twice in first year, luckily still able to maintain PNK 3.00++).

I have a dream, that is to enter 4th year, to enter fourth year, I must:
1. PNK 3.00 ++
2. Studio Design - B above

The first criteria I may able to achieve it. For the studio design, I can’t. It really need a lot of time to produce a really good work. In first year, I don’t have time. The time is just enough. Well, in order to know more friends, in order to be sociable, I was active. Sometime, whenever I can’t attend an activity. I feel so uneasy but I really need that time to balance my academic. Not that I lazy  and don’t want to attend. I have tried my best. But people just don’t really understand. No matter is CC T-shirt design, GACC, MATB II, UM-CLHS, ……

I have already given my best commitment. I really have a good time in first year but the only regret is I got B- in Design Studio. Some people have test tomorrow and still can go for activity. Have they ever think of the weightage of their test? Ok, lets say 4 credit hour - 10%, comparing to 6 credit hour 25%, 40%, 50%,… How can they compare theirs with us?

Some times it is really unfair, our course no dean list, no have time to study, port folio day is at middle of study week… But people just don’t understand, never understand … …

————————————————————–

This year, my aim is clear, I have responsibilities on my family, college =_=, studio (Asst. class rep.), … …

Between these, I have to rank which one is most important, so I only can care the 1st important one. I just have one head, I cannot care all at the same time. Maybe some people can, but not for me… …

UiTM workshop is very interesting. First, I have a chance to visit UiTM. Next, I can see the leadership of Choot, can see how ken kiat settle the things and involve in sketching competition,… … These really amazed me. Even the performance on stage is superb. I don’t think I have any of those quality. Suddenly, I feel that I am still lacking of a lot of things. I still have a lot more things to learn. I don’t know I can reach that quality or not. I need some skills seriously. Anyway, as a supporter, it is quite relaxing. From the event, we can see how’s the architecture students from many different universities. I can compare and learn from it. The event is good, very good…

BAEA1180 MEASURED DRAWINGS AND REPORTS

Begin To Go

In collaboration with Building Survey (2nd year) Students, we proudly sit on the train to Kelantan. Before that in  UM, we have tried with measure drawing of a staircase and we faced a lot of problems.

14hours trip is really tiring. However, the time in the train is the only time we can forget our work temporary. I am in Group 4. At the beginning, we have to measure and draw Istana Jahar ourselves. Luckily, group 5 join us as a group to measure and draw Istana Jahar. Compared to Istana Balai Besar, Istana Jahar is not too big but it is full of details. Not only that, Istana Jahar has toilet and a lot of wakafs. Well, as usual, the most impossible thing to happen always will happen on me. I am in charge of the tool. Well, the tools are quite a lot and have to make sure them are all there at the end of everyday. Luckily, they were quite well-distributed to the members. The BS side of our group are all with wonderful personality and capability. They can all work until late at night and can produce wonderful work. Meanwhile my own coursemates also show a very good quality in producing the drawings.  

Job Distribution

First day, we divide our job according to elevations. (Group 4 is doing the main building)

Front Elevation: Kok, Chot, Kristen, YS
Left Elevation: Ken Kiat, Sam, Munira
Rear Elevation: Huang Yu Zhe, Kok Hua Chyi, Liyana
Right Elevation: Jason, Ain, Ayu

Chot and Kristen have to produce floor plans. Kok is Group Leader. But, he is such a nice person and helped me a lot in measuring, especially the detail located on high location at ground floor. While me, I measured and record as much as I could in the morning, and after dinner I produce AutoCAD drawing of Front Elevation. People said front elevation is the most complicated one but I have to draw it alone. When I am drawing front elevation, then only I discovered that I am not as good as them. My drawing is not as accurate as Ken Kiat, Not as accurate as Hua Chyi or even Jason’s Right elevation. The front elevation is mostly on approximation or using the column as reference. And the roof I just use the length of roof and find middle point project up the height to get the slope. I dunno why but I really have no time to ask who have calculated the angle of roof looking from front. I don’t like group work because I cannot do what I want to do. I have the responsibility of the whole group on my shoulder. I think my front elevation is not that accurate compared to left, right and rear elevation. Most importantly, I can see more than 5 roofs in front elevation. Its very hard to determine the angle and position of each roofs. I work alone in front elevation but even if group leader send someone to help me, I also dunno how to distribute some jobs to them. I found that my quality is very hard to reach the same level of the others. They can draw roof tiles, details, kelawangs, … but I don’t even have time for it. I found that I cannot do many things at a same time. I get tired easily. I can’t stay up too late at night to continue drawing. I can’t produce a good work at night.

Now, ken kiat take over my front elevation and call me not to touch anything about elevation anymore. In other words, he doesn’t want me to make the things worse.

Now, seems that I have reached the limit to improve myself more. People don’t trust me, until even myself do not trust my own ability. Do I really suitable to continue in Architecture? In the past, I believe I can do anything and I really can do anything. Now, I have lost my confidence and I don’t even have chance to raise my head up and be confident. I feel that I prefer reading books and sit for exams rather than stay up late at night to do AutoCAD. I dunno which way I am going. But, I can’t give up now, my whole family maybe depend on me. No matter what, I have to continue. The things that worried me most is Architecture is not my Strongest field but it is my weakest field indeed. I choose this course because of one believe. I believe I can do anything. I believe I can give a better life to my family. But the competition is so strong here. I don’t even have a chance to prove myself. I feel that I am so useless in this course. This is not my target. Before I came in, I tell myself to get through the course and make my family proud but… can I? When lecturers and friends start to doubt my ability and judge my standard based on the previous works, I stand no chance to give myself a real name. In the eye of society, I am always the not-so-important one. Anyway, I really really hope that I can show some good point of me. And I hope there’s one … …

SEMESTER 2 2008/2009

BAEA1276 Architectural Design Studio II
(5 credit hours)

OVERALL GRADE: ?
Projects:
Project 1 Green Chair Online (B-)

Project 2 Tree House in Urban Jungle (C+)

Project 3 Retreat House - My Dream House in The Forest (C+)

Portfolio Review

Comments:
Behind this outcome, maybe people cannot see how much papers I have spent and how much nights and effort I have poured into it. Before this I may have a lot of other design options which have been banned by lecturer in the design process. The though part is not only how to create this outcome but is to go though the process to reach this stage. Furthermore, I can’t say that it is not fair for me since people can produce better work with the same amount of time. Don’t know why, I feel that I have been distracted by other subjects’ assignments. Maybe outsider will feel tha architecture is a very easy course. I thought that before but now, I can’t believe that architecture is SOMETHING ABOUT EVERYTHING. I think I have a lot to learn in term of creativity, coulouring, setting layout, drawing technique …

Maybe I talk a lot in studio, maybe this is how I get idea… Maybe I walk around and disturbed a lot of people… Maybe I didn’t go down and ask advice from seniors… Maybe I didn’t get all the crits from lecturer… Maybe I am tired of following every advice and crits of lecturer and still get C+… Maybe I am not that suitable in becoming an architect…

However, I am very disappointed with my performance, I feel that my peerformance have dropped tremendously since beginning of form 6. I feel that I am very stupid and useless. However, I hold on the name of my family, I stand as the only son of my family, I have the responsibility to make my family pround of me. I have no face to return home with nothing on my hand. I have to achieve something but I only left with the examinations…

BAEA 1127 Building Structures I

OVERALL GRADE: ?
Assignments:
Assignment I (96%)
Assignment 2 (94%)

Tests:
Test (79%)

Final Exam: ?

Comment:
Actually, I am not very happy with my results. But I understand my ability, my physics is not that good since form 6. When it come to application and calculation of a more complicated question, I usually ended up with silly mistakes or having a blank mind of how to start solving it. But this subject is my only hope to score. I hope I can do it. I know I can.

BAEA 1121 Material and Construction II

OVERALL GRADE: ?

Assignment 1a Exhibition Hall ( ? )

FINAL EXAM: ?

Comment:
This exhibition hall project is not easy. The exhibition hall is big and it has a basement. I even spend time to design the landscape outside the huge exhibition hall. The worse thing is it came together with the interim crit of studio design II - Project 3 Retreat House. How can I focus and do well if there is two big projects coming together with a very close due date. I am not that type of creative person. I need a long time to come out with a design. Maybe the problem is I am stupid and not because of the heavy load of assignments. I am so envy that people from other course can have their time prepare for business day and we architecture having two big project + APK business day will always get scolded by outsider that do not understand us at all. As a director of APK at the same time, I was distracted by APK too when handling this two projects. Luckily, I have an one hour crit by Ar. Aniza on my drawing and I corrected a lot of mistakes, like parking lot space, the stair case and design, materials used,… After the crit, I feel that I learned a lot of things and I have an edge in skill of applying materials.  Although my model is like kindergarden’s work  (because I spended a lot of time in 6 or more pieces of A1 drawings of exhibition hall), luckily the result is still not too bad (I think). Although I can do better but I think I have done what I can do in this assignment.

BAEA 1124 Environmental Physics

OEVERALL GRADE: ?
Assignment 1 by Pn Seri (B+)

Assignment 2 by Prof Rao (C+)

FINAL EXAM:
Comment:
Assignment 1
Thanks to the group work. I feel very proud that I can put some hand in this group work and thanks to YY and aminul for the autoCAD drawings of the device. I feel so proud that our group is the one with highest grade.

Assignment 2
I feel so sorry for Prof Rao because we were too tired for doing the design studio work. We have no choice, if we over-concerntrate on this, we may lose mark on studio. We have no choice, we have no time, I have no sleep, we have to pick one. Sorry, Prof.

BAEA 1114 HISTORY OF ARCHITECTURE
Assignments:
Essays:
Essay 1: B
Essay 2: C+

Weekly sketch
(Weekly = every week submit sketches with descriptions on one topic)
( C+, B-, B+, C+, B, B-, B-, B+, B+)

Seminar + Presentation of Traditional Malay House ( ? )

Report (?)

Final Exam: ?

Comment:
This subject is for me to get back my energy after the whole night at studio. At the beginning I still can accept this subject but as time passed by, I feel that this subject is meaningless and I feel that I have wasted my health and energy for this subject. This subject at the same time distract me from focus on other subjects. The assignment load is heavy.

GXEX 1412 BUSINESS OF ENTREPRENEURSHIP CULTURE
Assignments: ( ? )
Business Summary
Business Plan
Business Report

Business day ( ? )

Presentation ( ? )

Final Exam ( ? )

Comment:

Business day quite interesting and fun but at wrong timing.

College Activity
MATB II (Malam Anugerah Tuanku Bahiyah II)
Comment:
Very sorry, director. I am selfish for putting my result on first place but I really don’t have the time for MATB II, I tried my best to give part of my time. But I don’t even have time to rest. How can I have time for MATB II? In this sem, I only goto mid valley twice. Really too busy. Maybe because I am slow and stupid. But I hae no choice. I am here for future, not for enjoying/project. Maybe my contribution is not as much as other people but I hope what I done has covered part of it. Please trust me that I don’t really mean to ignore some of the preparation process. I am too tired and too weak to do so… I know u all also busy with your stuff but you never know unless you were me. I am sorry.

I’ve been sitting taxi when I was going back to KL alone. Dunno why, I have zero confidence to my safety in KL. I feel that dangers are everywhere in KL. Especially when I am in Puduraya. I feel that dangers are surrounding me. Luckily, I am a man. =_=”

Today, I was coming off the bus. A man with cap asking whether I need a taxi, I said yes. He said RM30, I said RM25, He said its jam, so I said RM30 ok, and where’s your taxi. The taxi is across the busy road. (OMG! =_=”) The guy with cap get the taxi and told the taxi driver RM30 to UM. O_O” Two person carrying one passenger. I have no choice, I can’t refuse as my luggage is already in the boot. Nvm, then I went into the seat. To my surprise, the two doors at passenger seat and without lock (lock has taken away, I can’t open the door and only driver can open from outside). This is dangerous if I were a girl.

Next, he made an illegal U-turn and get caught by police. His licence is blacklisted! He paid the “Money For Coffee” (RM20). Remember? My fare is RM30. Then when reach second college, he said he “rugi” because fetch me cuz pay RM20 coffee money. He want me to pay RM10 extra. I refuse, he said no joke, slowly I drag my luggage near the stair and flee like a chicken. Luckily, I didn’t lost anything. But I feel very disappointed to the Taxi Drivers of KL and the police. I remember I saw an email about if there is taxi driver with one companion in car, dun get up, because it is a robber’s car. Luckily, I am no a victim today but who knows. I can sit LRT but I dun wanna to stay long in Pudu and expose myself to this dangerous city. The crime rate is so high nowaday.

There are many kinds of taxi drivers in KL, some are political, some are very cut-throat, some are… I don’t like that. I feel very unsecure when I am in a taxi. Even when pass by the masjid of UM (when public holiday) there is people pretending no money to sit bus and ask for money. He very clever, he always approach me when I am alone. =_=” Why I am alone? I also dunno why.

I really hope that one day, KL can become a clean and safe city. =_=” If possible… … so that I can go out alone freely. =_=”

Yes! Happy New Year!

Finally new year holiday has arrived. I’ve finished my chair. A simple design. I feel that the design seems to be very normal in the eyes of people. No body want to try it when it was put together with other chairs. However, when it stand alone, people came and tried it. The chair is just like me. When do in group, I performed badly, my opinion is not powerful, I am not as smart and capable as others. When I stand alone, at least I still have some value. I know my design is plain and uniform (boring). When I make it “interesting”, the situation became worse, my model become not esthatic. What is consider as beautiful? How to measure beautiful? With the first look? To me, I rather prefer to spend more time with it and slowly discover its beauty. But lecturers have no time, it was marked when presentation. Why a plain things will not be a successful design? Why a uniform and boring arrangrement will not be a correct arrangement? It serves the purpose and it does not sore the eyes. Like my house, although it is just a simple house but I feel comfortable in it. Sometimes, a big and beautiful bangalow can’t manage to give the comfortable feeling to the user.  It is the user that I concern, it is the health that I concern, it is the safety that I concern, it is stability that I concern about. Last sem, I got B- for my studio design, I dun wan to repeat that again, I m always trying hard to impress them but my ability is limited. Maybe I m not as creative as my coursemates. I lost my confidence, I lost my confidence in my design… … I lost everything because that my products were never get approved by the public. I try to convince myself that I can do it but one failure by one failure coming on, I lost the touch… … I lost confidence in everything. I no confidence in love. I no confidence in design. I no confidence in public relationship. I no confidence that people can trust my idea. Because my idea is always very small … … microscopic… …

Nevermind, new year is coming, hope everything will turn out to be better. Yes!

29NOV - 6DEC

I tot GACC will be a very relaxing event but… … sleepless nights are still coming… there are a lot of jobs: department tasks, Opening Ceremony, Closing Ceremony, Liason, Malay Dance, Chinese Dance, Indian Dance, …

Maybe I am lucky because I m just involving in department task and opening publicity. Publicity department have these tasks:
1. 30 Scrolls Drawing
2. 2 Banners Drawing
3. 30 Scrolls hanging in UM
4. Scrolls hanging in SS2 and Jln Universiti
5. 2 Banners hanging
6. Opening Backdrop (Design, Make, Paste)
7. Closing Backdrop (Design, Make Paste)
8. Giant GACC Logo

Although bz but I’ve enjoyable time. Maybe because I am not a liason, I have less chance to mix with participants and dunno what to talk with them also. However, some participants were not easy to be handled. I not familiar with KL and dunno how to communicate with people well. Luckily I m not liason. The time in Lobby and BSM is just exactly the same like in Studio. Relax and comfortable.

Finally, I’ve finished my exam, The End of Semester I.

BAEA 1121 Material and Construction,
what a challenging subject for me. I have read and memorize everything and the questions coming out were: Method of sawing timber, Cavity wall, Types of truss rafter roof, Introduction to building industry … … What a miscalculation I’ve made. In past years, these questions never appear, I was shocked, I was forced to do 6 questions. Even if I was allowed to check on the book, I cannot guarantee that I can answer them all… I tried my best… I can’t believe this is my best. I thought … …

BAEA 1175 Architectural Design Studio,
LINEAR ELEMENT >>> PLANAR ELEMENT >>> HYBRID ELEMENT >>> SINGLE CUBE >>> DOUBLE CUBE >>> ANTHROPOMETRY >>> ERGONOMICS >>> LIVING CAPSULE (BAMBOO WAKAF)

C+ B- B- B+ C+       
Overall: B-

At the beginning, I came in this course full with hope. I want to be 100 times more hardworking than STPM, I don’t want the failure to happen again. I failed… … No matter how hardworking I am, I can’t come out with a “great design”. Maybe I m in a very unfair position but if my design is really good, people can’t  give me a low grade… … I only can blame myself for all the mistakes… …

GTEE 1103 English I, GXEX 1414 TITAS, GXEX 1401 INFO SKILL
Should be ok… … I think.  

Not very smooth in Semester 1 2008/2009, don’t know is because I can’t adapt or this is not my strongest field, I think I tried hard but still not my best, I believe I can do better than that in sem 2, I am not coming into UM to fill the population but I am coming to fulfill my dream and ambition… …

Well, today is the day of everything. Everything was on top of table and board. Tiring… For those projects, I’ve spent nights but the result is not equivalent to the effort. Dunno why I feel that I m very unlucky. Everytime, every project I sure have to do more than twice but the grade is still C, C+,… I go bus station also always met with bad guys. Walk to faculty always met with monkeys. I want to do better but I was not given enough time. I started early but end up finish at last minutes. Why? I feel that I m not a genius. My ability and mental power level is just half of my friends. I read books for three times also not as good as they read one time. People have buddy to supply them notes. I’ve photostated a lot books from library but they just rest in my cupboard. I’ve no time to flip them. My college is the nearest college, I seldom (never) go out with coursemates/coll mates for movie but why I m still so bz and without enough time. Huang, my friend from china, also doing last minute work but he always able to produce a quality product and able to conduct a world-class presentation. The time I spent in studio is more than anyone but why I couldn’t do as well as them. Actually, this is the course I have most interest but dunno why I can’t do well. Even Material& Construction subject which need memorizing (my strongest ability), I didn’t understand the subject well yet. I dunno how to sketch out, I dunno the theory, I dunno how thick is mortar… My friend asked me that I have interest in any girl, I think I dun have time for that. However, some people who are bz with their bf/gf still able to do well in academic. I dunno what should I do now, I’ve lost confidence. My target is to end up this course with getting at least a Grade B but no lecturer get attracted to my work. I know I can do better but I dun have time. Now, coll wan us to clear all things. I dunno where to put as well. KL is a dangerous city, UM is a confusing university, architecture life is tiring. My principe of sleep early and wake up early was demolished just because I got into this course. I try to finish my work at day but I’ll always end up on the morning of next day. I don’t even have time for sports activity. Now, it is time for examination. All my other course friend have a long study week but I just have 1-2 days to read for each subject… I want to excel, I worked as hard as I could but.. I don’t have the chance and…. I m not the super genius as I thought I was…